“When I pushed the lever, the stars rotated around me slowly.” – Travis Walton

Abductions of the ET variance are always interesting, in that invariably there is some trickery going on. Travis Walton’s experience with the ETs that abducted him reveals that 1) they’re incredibly annoying people with a knack for abusing anesthetics, and 2) they also like to get high and laugh at people.

List of UFO sightings throughout the ages.

Genetic mutation and the erasing of prehistoric civilization by nuclear annihilation was probably the best thing that ever happened to us. I really enjoy the idea that genetically altered and strange creatures used to inhabit the planet. And I guess if we’re just some ET’s interstellar pet rock, then it makes all the more sense that He would just ‘start over’ if things were not going by his standards.

“When it was all over, she [the humanoid female with bright red pubic hair] smiled at Boas, rubbed her belly and gestured upwards.” (1957) – Antonio Villas Boas

The story of Antonio Villas Boas is probably my favorite abduction story because 1) Please tell me he’s telling the honest to god truth right?, 2) He makes it with an outer space person, 3) Gets her pregnant what! 4) Becomes a lawyer later in life. Draw your own conclusions… Planned parenthood for space people?

I…honestly don’t know what to think anymore. We as a species want to believe so much in ghosts who live in teh starz..so much that I am forced to reconcile with all of the things I’ve learned throughout my existence as a ‘mainstream’ thinker…

“Ten days after the UFO encounter, Betty began having a series of vivid dreams.” – Betty  Hill

“Psychiatrists reportedly later suggested that the supposed abduction was a hallucination brought on by the stress of being an interracial couple in early 1960s America.” I think in all UFO sightings/abduction cases, these encounters are drawing from the same collective consciousness of the typical Greys, but with a twist of environmental variables. My own ‘abduction’ experience was more along the lines of clinical and just plain weird.

Ok, so when I was living in Brooklyn, one night I had this vividly realistic dream. I woke up on a table, with a bright light above me. There were these other beings present in the room, but I couldn’t really see them. They were however in the same predicament as I. At first, I felt the back of my neck, because that was where I was sensed a dull pain. As I searched further, I removed a silver-glass-like piece of material that was in the shape of a tear-drop. On the shape, there was a series of mathematical equations. I remember being scared and not sure what was going on.

As I looked around the examination room, I could sense I was in a different, heavier place — and there was a low hum all around me. I hopped off the table and looked out of the door, all was quiet. Suddenly I felt an urgency to stay put… And that’s when I saw big lights and then screeching! I woke up to the JMZ blasting past me on its heavy metal rails. I was short of breath and feeling very strange.

I rubbed my neck, and felt a distant haunting by what I just experienced. I could have sworn I was there, in that room, looking at the silver-glass tear-drop with the calculations. It was too real, but did it really happen? I don’t know. If it did…well..I guess we’ll see what happens.

“The body of Benjamin Franklin, Printer, (like the cover of an old book, its contents torn out, and stript of its lettering and guilding) lies here food for worms.

“Yet the work itself shall not be lost; for it will (as he believed) appear once more in a new and more beautiful edition, corrected and amended by the Author.” Epitaph on Franklin’s tombstone, written by himself.

The fallout.

The prospect of living until one is 100 is incredibly rare. I will however probably only live until 90. Even still, that would give me 60 more years to fuck around in this earth-attic.

I’ve learned a lot in 30 years. SO if I were to live until 90, that would give me at least 2 more lifetimes… It’s like living three times in one life. Veddy good deal.

“Floaters!”

That also means that at the end of every 30 years, if I believed in reincarnation, that I could reincarnate into a different life form. Or form of life…

“The past, and the present????????”

The fact is, it just doesn’t get better than this. How can it. To have the chance to be someone else every 30 years — that’s amazing. It’s unearthly…

Sometimes you have to break some shit.

Sometimes, men and women hold monkies like babies. It’s a fact of life. Whatever, big deal.

“It’s not voodoo, it’s science. DUDES, LOOK HERE…”

It’s pretty sound science. No?

I hope to be able to achieve this 3-lifetime deal within the first 2 lifetimes. But if I don’t, then well, I guess I can figure it out in afterlife.

I’d like to figure out a clever way to make this my tombstone. But how, HOW, how?

And now for a completely irrelevant segue into horror films.

SORRY ALL CAPS

Last night, my girlfriend and I watched the original Stepfather, starring Terry O’Quinn (John Locke from Lost), and for the first time in a long time, I realized that pointless character development is actually incredibly funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-puOflohxDo

Especially when they’re murdered off.

I didn’t know what to expect from the movie, but as it progressed, I found myself really enjoying O’Quinn’s acting. He plays a very good evil person.

However, since we’re on the subject of boob-tube psychopaths..my heart still lies with Dexter. That’s all. Just wanted you to know that piece of useless information.

“The Evil One has left, the evil ones remain.” -
Goethe: Faust, Act 1, sc.6, 1. 174

I don’t know if you have every tried to really quit smoking, but it’s a fucking bia — and you never forget how you did it. I’d been smoking since I was 12, and at the time I was 25. It was January 5th, 2006.

“Gefðu mér hamar.”

So it went down like this: I had just bought a pack of bali-shag, and a lighter. Then my buddy comes over to this party I’m at, and says he’s got this nicorette he’s been using.

“It’s Friday, who cares?”

And I say, “Hey man, give me that last piece of your gum, I wanna try it.” He had a start, and said it was his last piece.

And then I said, “Man if you give me that last piece of your gum, I promise you I will never smoke again.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbvoTtbWouc

He looked at me, kind of with this funny smile he had, wasn’t bad but it wasn’t terrible. Just somewhere in between.

And then he said ok, he’d give me his last piece. So I threw my cigs down, and said outloud as if everyone gave a shit, “I’m done.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SprbGBbP1lU

The next morning was a shocker, in that not only was I out of cigs (gave them away at the party), I was in a real sorry situation.

I didn’t know what to do, so I went to Eckerd’s, and bought a box of nicorette. And realized that I’d just quit smoking.

The first few days were pretty bad, but the realization that I finally quit, was enough to keep me from starting again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDLOHzXyck4

And now I’m pretty damn happy about it.

Mind Reading: The Researchers Who Analyzed All the Porn on the Internet?!?!?!?! (LINK)

Well, here we are again, abused and reused. Just waiting to wrap my arms around a serious pizza lunch. Speaking of pizza, does anyone eat their pizza from the crust-end first? Who the f–k does that?

FEED MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (LINK)

Tonight I am going to embark upon the festivities of one my favorite Dario Argento films, 4 Flies on Grey Velvet. This film is an ace! It includes a badass soundtrack, krazy katz, and awesome death scenes. Well worth it for any Italian horror fan.

“I was looking for a job and then I found a job…” (LINK)

A long time ago, I use to be in a singer song-writer emo band called Metal Mouth. I lived in Brooklyn, played shows with random folks around the boroughs, and wished to one day own a cat and place of my own. Sadly, that has simply not happened yet.

Tom Savini and David Letterman (link)

It’s funny because what I really wanted to do in life, was to be in special effects make-up for horror films. That path however, fell through, somewhere in that dingy stucco ceiling of life I call the 90′s.

“A man who limits his interests, limits his life.” – Vincent Price

Being said, one of my first experiences with the horror genre was ‘House on Haunted Hill’, starring a skeleton and 50 bucks. Vincent Price of course, taught me how to enjoy horror, and suspense.

His voice is one I will never forget. It’s a shame, Escapes, never got the DVD release it rightfully deserved..