“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” ~Zora Neale Hurston

There is a crack in our dome of solace, a bone in the fire, an invasion of existence has occurred. We have the pulse, of a killer among us. Burn the offerings, burn the sage, let those apache teardrops fill the earth. It’s the year of the opening — that which exists behind the mirror.

…because that son of a bitch called Evil is back, stuck in between this world and another that knows no lover’s touch, no touch of love. Ripped apart from the cloth of night, its face that wide-open window, no soul to gaze in upon.

“I sense something, a presence I’ve not felt since…….” – Darth Vader

You have to let those bullet-proof eyes pass through you, and wait, wait until those feelings colorize. Then, there. Check the gears, look straight ahead, move through all the turns like you were taught to do.

Old sayings, old whispers. Tell me tell me, how the steps were, how the words went, how the insects moved like clockwork, and the brutal reflections burned so violently into the eyes of our night-watchers….tell me about the patterns. Tell me where to look.

While it’s unlikely that 2012 will bring us world peace, we can at least place our hopes into linked synthesis, and good intent. So much energy is wasted on the wrestling and writhing of one another’s demons. Don’t become hypnotized, don’t let yourself be reversed by the heavy machinery of our singular era in the singular universe.

I’m fairly sure, as a whole, that we are multi-dimensional.

Into the future…

In all honesty, I think now would be a good time to think about your life like you never have before, to see it in a different way, a way that makes absolutely no sense at all.

Make no sense of your life, make it absolutely improbable, so much that it’s on the edge of impossibility, then come back to the present moment. Go look in the mirror. You’re still here.

Senseless loss. I suppose that it’s enough to start a war. And also enough to end one.

“The Lion lies in his lair in the perpendicular face of a low cliff — for he is carved from the living rock of the cliff. His size is colossal, his attitude is noble. His head is bowed, the broken spear is sticking in his shoulder, his protecting paw rests upon the lilies of France. Vines hang down the cliff and wave in the wind, and a clear stream trickles from above and empties into a pond at the base, and in the smooth surface of the pond the lion is mirrored, among the water-lilies.

“Around about are green trees and grass. The place is a sheltered, reposeful woodland nook, remote from noise and stir and confusion — and all this is fitting, for lions do die in such places, and not on granite pedestals in public squares fenced with fancy iron railings. The Lion of Lucerne would be impressive anywhere, but nowhere so impressive as where he is.” – Mark Twain on the Lion of Lucerne

From time to time, it certainly does seem as Twain illustrates, the obvious change in volume from waves crashing upon each other; the optical quirk of two formats double-exposed — the clarity of difference between various proportional environments. It can seem that we are somehow destined for a different path of restoration, but we are extraordinary just where we are.

“The witch was a ninety-year-old ex-hooker Dario had found on the streets of Rome.” – Jessica Harper on the uncredited actress in Suspiria

The week has been winding down, part of me wishes it was always like this, no students in town, the university a grey landscape of whistling trees, the faculty/staff gym completely vacant, save the 3 regulars including myself…no.  students.

I haven’t had a single candy-cane this season. I’m wondering if I even had one last year, I really don’t recall. I used to love the multi-colored canes that were not in the least bit minty. Are they even produced still? I have a feeling probably not.

“You are tearing me apart, Lisa!” – Johnny from The Room

Oddly enough, last night I saw parts of The Room, starring Tommy Wiseau and my god, wow. Words cannot possibly describe this film. I think the thing that gets me is that it seems so removed from anything that is watchable, that it becomes mysteriously watchable. It’s such a confusing film. Please watch it.

“By the power of the keys it is that Our Lady of tears glides a ghostly intruder into the chambers of sleepless men, sleepless women, sleepless children…” — Thomas De Quincey regarding Levana and Our Ladies of Sorrow 

I miss the days when the internet was ARPANET, and people just went about their business wishing that there was something like an internet but with more of a Star Trekkish edge to it – and not just a bunch of mundane, useless, nsfw sites.

While running this morning, I caught the History Channel’s “Mysteries of the Freemasons”. It was interesting, and I thought that maybe I should like to become a Freemason. I dunno, maybe, but I just don’t know what the fees are —and oh there will be fees.

Speaking of secrets and such, I kind of sort of hope someone figures out the mysteries around ol’necropolis. I’d like to know where to invest my time and money in 2012, because the way things are going, I’m pretty sure the country will stop working in about a month.

…blah, listening to NPR these days is like listening to Grandpa’s mouth talk crazy while he takes shots of dime-store whiskey, all the while you’re trying frantically to put out the fire that he may or may not have accidentally started in a box of priceless family photos.

Zombie saturn. That is what will happen to us. The moon will bash itself back into us, or something, and all of our corpses will create a rather impressive ring of death around our once beautiful, bountiful, glowing planet. UNLESS –

That is of course, unless the Andromedians get their affairs in order so that they can bail us out from the Biped Crisis, which is set to occur any day now. According to my astral ping requests sent to their star-cruisers, they’re about 2 years off. Good damn thing too. Don’t know how much longer I can hold the connex.

When they get here, it shouldn’t really be a surprise to anyone not living under a rock. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason that we’ve been trudging through these waves, lot of patterns to get through…..our brains are merging, preparing for the “fall”, getting ready for the next phase.

Sometimes I cross dimensions and things get weird. Usually, it only happens once my eyes shut down. I’m better working at night — our dimension has too much light, too many photons with too much information. The darkness carries this infinite supply of curiosity and beauty, ruled by sound and soft phantoms.

“Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works.” – Carl Sagan

This thinking always get me…it always make me wonder why — why couldn’t we have been there instead of here. But here is where we are, and what we are is where we’ve been, even if we started from scratch on this singular planet. Instead of thinking if we can build it, that someone will buy it — wouldn’t it be better to think if it’s to be built, then it’s to be used……to get off this rock, and to meet our universe.

“Maybe after all there is a shift to unity consciousness going on and that the universe is now starting to allow us to just be whatever we are.” – Johan Calleman on the “end” of the Mayan Calendar.

There are some people out there that don’t believe in mystical things, and then there are people that do. I’ve read some of Calleman’s work, as well as the work of other Mayan calendrical experts, and I’ve come to a conclusion: whatever is making the universe tick, Higgs, God, Ancient Energies, whatever — > we’re still here, living on this rock, refocusing and repainting.

Meanwhile, life continues to curl down into a sloppy mess. Changing souls at every other corner. Well, I’m not sure what’s been in the air lately, seems like planetary-things have been in an elevated state of emotional buckling. Heavy heads, heavy sighs, lots of rain — maybe that’s it — maybe it’s the weather.

Have you ever tried astral projection? It’s interesting. It’s not something I’ve done recently, but in the past, I found myself trying it out all the time. Kind of feels like you’re caught in between a strobe light and a carpet with deep holes. Then after that, there’s a window you float through, and all of these voices. Gonna have try this with the misses one day…

“The point to realize is however that the Ninth wave is still in operation and that especially its days will continue to grind unity consciousness into existence…” – Johan Calleman

The prospects of a humanity that comes together seems so glowingly far off. It’s hard enough to sift through the daily news and the invisible forcefield of the crushing societal hell that surrounds our planet. Why couldn’t we have been more like jellyfish, or more like plants? Beats me.

But what if I am wrong? What if I am dead wrong? What if that humanity is a diamond in the rough? What if we are indeed living in the Diamond Age?

If I could just step away from all that is infinite and loving, and expand upon my audio treasures: I finally acquired a working turntable this weekend. Been wanting to listen to records for ages, and now I can. We’ve been using it non-stop. Cannot have a holiday happy-face without the crisp warmth of cold holiday vinyl being whirled upon the record player. Here comes the eggnog.

It’s currently 67 F outside. Unfortunately, this Christmas will be warm and tropical, unlike this photo of a town covered in blankets of cold, snowy pain. Ahh…sigh.

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“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

I suppose Herr Rilke never had to deal with Time Warner Cable. Was on the phone with them from 8am to 930am. …

“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

I suppose Herr Rilke never had to deal with Time Warner Cable. Was on the phone with them from 8am to 930am. They are the most useless, unhelpful, and undeniably the worst representatives of American customer service. They can go straight to hell.

BURN!!! BURN!!!BURN!!! BURN!!!BURN!!! BURN!!!BURN!!! BURN!!!BURN!!! BURN!!!BURN!!! BURN!!!

Okay moving on. In the future, I think we can all agree, dealing with idiots is the last thing any one singular person wants to deal with in this universe. I’d rather be cattle-pronged than deal with a world full of morons.

SO, let’s talk about holiday food ideas. I already know what kind of food I’ll be eating: pizza, french fries, and eggnog. What? What is that wrong? I’m pretty affluent in holiday meal preparation. It’s easy, just through a pizza in the oven, eat some ketchup with some fries, and then when the pizza is done, just pull it out and use eggnog as a dipping sauce. What?

I’m sorry, but no. You could NEVER not have a light on and/or be drunk in this house. You would perish within seconds of your 3rd shot of Jameson. Parties, children, plump kitties? Forget it. This house is goddam death trap. It’s like the architect was watching only Lars Von Trier films during his entire creative process…Natural linear and geometric beauty meets the stark reality of a world where darkness must not be allowed to exist, yet must…and inevitably will…ja ja, det er storslået!

I’m rather afraid of missing information, being misinformed, or not being able to find a way out of the woods when the temperature is dropping rapidly and the sun is almost gone and someone is following you. That has actually happened to me before. It was scary.

The things we don’t deal with in the comforts of a city…

I think another serious fear of mine is being eaten alive by a wild animal. I don’t think it would be anything but terrifying, as it ripped away at your face, hands, legs, and neck until you just succumbed to the exhaustive efforts of staying alive. Exsanguination although typically fast, can in this instance, be a real bitch.

In conjunction with fighting for your life, not being properly prepared is such a bummer. I would think that right before an attack, you would just hope that for some reason you packed the real knife and not the pretend sparring knife that is in today’s society considered an act of holy war against the holy government.

Oh my god. You see, this is exactly what I’m talking about. Why are you walking around in the snow, trying to find dry, warmish land and a bowl full of vegan chili? No hat? Only your sister’s Herschel backpack, and matching sleeping bag eh? Goddam this is going to end bad.

…I think I’m going to give up racquetball, seeing as my abilities to not fall through giant glass doors are not getting any better. I think it’s time to pick up Jai-Alai. Either that or find a fencing buddy. I’ve always wanted to learn fencing…

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“I am so hackneyed to the touches of painters’ pencils that I am now altogether at their beck, and sit ‘like patience on a monument,’ whilst they are delineating the lines of my face. It is a proof, among many others, of what habit and custom can accomplish.” – George Washington on his Life Mask“

Google Trends on Eggnog, Cider, and Mulled Wine.

I think it’s safe to say, that mulled wine and eggnog are on the menu for the next few weeks. But not now, oh god not now…I had the whiskey shakes all too recently… In my “hangover” moments, I typically need to disappear into a hidden, dark secret place, I like to call Under The Covers.

“I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks. I just can’t believe it.” – Kurt Cobain, as quoted in Option (1992-01/02).

Oh Kurt…I can certainly believe it. Happens roughly every 16 minutes in Austin. During my lunch hour, I like to think what if this man lived into his retirement age? What is that for a musician these days, like 90? I bet he’d be pretty hilarious, probably would have eventually put out a Christmas album — and I would have bought that shit. On red and green vinyl.

The holidays are here, and there is much to do!! But it’s hard not to think that so much product is being moved all across the world as I type these very words. So much energy goes into making this season a reality of the “blessed”. If an alien civilization looked in upon us, I’m sure they’d have some difficulty in separating our praising the birth of a GOD to buying an incredible amount of shit. I think the holidays should reflect our attitudes towards progress and life, “Heeeey, you still have a job, and you’re coming down on your student loans — here’s a winter-gift in celebration of your ongoing achievements!” THANKS DAD!

I haven’t had a pet in a really long time, and I think it’s probably about time to change that. While I’d love to have a dog, preferably and grey wolf pup, I am for financial and housing reasons going to postpone that idea and instead gather up the little neighborhood pear-shaped Christmas ham-cat we call Catz. (NOTE: Looks nothing like the above pictured cat.)

Of late, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to writing a book/expanding on my thesis. I guess it has more to do with the fact that in a couple of short months, we’ll finally have our own place, and be able to set up our studio. This excites me, and inspires me to think of character development with a quantitative approach.

Possible book titles: Lexikalische Gebäck und schlechtem Kaffee. This book would be about the disillusioned pastry industry in a twilight-zonish modern day socialist East Germany. Another book title: Rire et mourir: Le rythme des rêves et des cauchemars. This book concerns the virtues of traveling dream masters, and the debate between peripheral realities in the presence of the newly found Higgs Boson.

A part of me wonders what it would be like to wear this helmet on a daily basis. Like to the office, to Beauty Bar on a Friday night while Feathers plays in the background, to HEB whilst picking up toothpaste and yogurt, or while looking for parking downtown–only to realize that parking downtown blows, which means that parking on the east side is the only option… I bet your chances of being mugged would be reduced, and even more so if you carried a truncheon shaped like a unicorn’s penis.

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